Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
