things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
