No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
