i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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