Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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