He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I will be naked everywhere
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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