i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
