New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
