I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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