No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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