I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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