hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
