took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
