Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
