The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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