Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
