Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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