he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
