It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
