the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
