He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
