You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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