In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
