Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
