I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
