Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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