im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
