I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
