Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
