what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
