What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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