which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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