I'm drive I can fine osifer
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
