Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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