she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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