Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
