My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
