i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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