that's an acceptable place to lick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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