just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
