I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
