i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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