party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
