Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And then he peed in my hair
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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