So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
