i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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