I wish I only lived at night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
