Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
