I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
