I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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