Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
